(Mike Sparks - to the tune of 'See Amid the Winter Snow')

Our Christmas Tree is looking bare
Dropping needles everywhere
Try to get it through the door
You'll find there's several thousand more

The Christmas tree is on the blink
Grandma's on the floor with drink
The kids are fighting, oh what fun
Happy Christmas everyone

My neighbour's garden's bathed in light
Plastic santas what a sight
There's flashing reindeer on the roof
Looks flippin' naff to tell the truth

Down to Tesco's join the fun
It's wilder than a rugby scrum
Push and pull and ruck and maul
Peace on earth goodwill to all

We've had the Bernard Matthews bird
When Lizzie's message has been heard
The Christmas schedules are a pain
It's the great escape again

But there's one thing which never fails
After Christmas come the sales
When Easter's out it's not too soon
Next Christmas season starts in June

© 2002 Mike Sparks