A Potato Has Feelings As Well

(Mike Sparks)

A potato has feelings as well
A potato has feelings as well
A potato has feelings, not just eyes and peelings
A potato has feelings as well

There's folk we all know who don't give a hoot
For those who eat meat or who hunt fish and shoot
But they'll tear me and my family out by the root
We potatoes have feelings as well

The names that they give us bring smiles to your lips
Not just mashed or roast not just boiled or chips
But they give us posh names like croquet or pom frits
A potato has feelings as well

Then they get all ageist you're old or you're new
They slice you and dice you and here's what they do
They cook you alive in some pasty or stew
A potato has feelings as well

They bake you in ovens at many degrees
Til you're truly browned off and then if you please
They split you and fill you with chilli or cheese
A potato has feelings as well

They mash you with turnip or sell you as fries
Or mix you with fish or with leeks in great pies
Locked in with sliced onions brings tears to your eyes
A potato has feelings as well

As crisps they will shred you from the first crack of dawn
And when you look round all your self respect's gone
Instead of potato you're flavoured chicken or prawn
A potato has feelings as well

Potatoes are foreigners that fact's well known
Respect for our culture should surely be shown
Remember King Edward was once on the throne
A potato has feelings as well.

1992 Mike Sparks

This song appears on the CD 'Going Round Again'